angelicalangie: (Kara/Lee Raptor Kiss Boardered)
[personal profile] angelicalangie
 I'll apologise now for the lack of Photoshopped images - and for the fact this mix is only 8 tracks long. I have written an exposition as to how or why these lyrics fit for me, and how I feel they stood out for me. So without further ado here it is;

A Very Kara/Lee Fan Mix

Sometimes you sit listening to the radio, or Napster or some tv show and you hear a song, be it foreground or background, and you can honestly sit there and go; “Whoa, hold the presses folks that's not a Rory/Buffy/or whatever character de jour may be, song, that's a Kara song!” And it will completely take you out of the episode, the same can happen for the radio or Napster. Your heartbeat rises as you listen to the lyrics and suddenly you go, wow these lyrics are almost tailor made for this scene or these character developments.

For me music is an integral part of my life. I get miserable and moody when I don't listen to it. I get amped up and crazy to it when it is particularly hyper. So I spend a lot of my time listening to music, and since writing, I tend to develop a play-list for writing too. Originally it was music to keep me in the mood for writing – now it is character or situational music.

Thus I present to you the Kara/Lee fan mix. These are songs that I feel express times or themes or feelings for the characters.

“Smoke” Natalie Imburglia – (Album “Left of the Middle)

There are four lines in this particular song that I pointed out recently summed up the family dynamic of Kara post her father leaving. Everyone knows that Socrata is an abusive bitch of a mother, certainly someone who had no business ever becoming one – but she probably had no clue as to what lurked within her.

“Where are you dad,
Mom's lookin' sad,
What's up with that?
It's dark in here.”

For myself when I hear these lyrics all I can see in my minds eye is an eight or nine year old Kara, locked in a closet somewhere, knees up to her chin, silent tears coursing down her face looking up almost in supplication asking where her father has gone, telling him about her mother, wanting to know why and that it's dark where she is. That darkness is both, in my mind, literally and metaphorical. How dark a place emotionally must she have gone in those early years of being left with her mother.

There are other lines that grab me (and I have been listening to this song non-stop since wand3rlust made her mix tape) but the most powerful are later in the song.

“My mouth is dry,
Forgot how to cry,
What's up with that?
You're hurting me,
I'm running fast,
Can't hide the past,
What's up with that?
You're pushing me.”

For me these lyrics would come later in Kara's story when she is in her teens. The lines “ My mouth is dry, forgot to cry” evoke how used to the situation she has become, how so normalized it has become to be beaten, how crying only ever makes it worse, so you train yourself not to cry. How you can speak about the pain, but it never helps. I often see Kara as a runaway – not in the traditional sense, I think it would have taken any route possible to get away from Socrata. If it could have been it would have been athletics, when that escape route was a bust it was the military and flying. The line “You're pushing me” is a reflection of that – she is saying you are pushing me away.

“Family Portrait” – Pink (Album “Mizunderstood”

Lee Adama is a character that epitomises the concept of the buttoned down, in-control officer. Highly intelligent, obviously well regarded by all around him, he too has a family history. We learn from Lee himself that after his father left his mother in his mind became a drunk. It also appeared that in Lee's mind this alcoholism was attributable to Adama Snr.'s leaving. Lee sees things in the black and white viewpoint of a child who has been left to make sense of a mess when the adults seem incapable or unwilling to explain it to the children caught in the crossfire of a relationship gone wrong.

“Momma please stop cryin, I can’t stand the sound 
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down 
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed 
I told dad you didn’t mean those nasty things you said.”

For me I can see Lee in bed, his brother across the room from him asleep. I can see him jumping as a glass shatters, and the sounds of the sobs of his mother echoing up the staircase, whilst he clamps his hands over his ears. I can completely see Lee trying furtively to fix his family. The whole song is about the break up of a family and the ending verse is one that I can hear Lee saying.

“In our family portrait, we look pretty happy 
Let’s play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally 
I don’t wanna have to split the holidays 
I don’t want two addresses 
I don’t want a step-brother anyways 
And I don’t want my mom to have to change her last name.”

Where is Your Heart – Kelly Clarkson (Album “Breakaway”)

For me as I Listen to this song I can hear Lee from two different episodes the first would be “Home pt 1” where Lee says that he loves Kara, and realises that was the worst thing to say to her as it was liable to spook her. The second time I could hear this song for him is in “Scar”

“I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me that's reaching out
For your hand”

And also in the lines;

“You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine”

It must seem from Lee's point of view that Kara is always taking him up to a certain point, but when things start cutting to the bone emotionally she backs off and he is left in some manner rejected. This is seen most clearly in “Unfinished Business”.

Play Dead – Bjork (Album “Début”)

This song could be so many different parts of Kara's life it is ridiculous. If the truth be told Kara is nigh on the expert on having pain inflicted on her, especially by people who say that they love her. For me the first time I heard it I saw Kara and Leoben. Yup, for me this was the song that summed up the time on New Caprica especially these lines;

“Darling stop confusing me
With your wishful thinking
Hopeful embraces.”

To me Kara is stuck in this house with Leoben – who it can be said is completely off his rocker and in need of his daily dose of anti-psychotics – which he has seemingly run out of following the worlds end! He is constantly trying to win her over by his kindness (loopy kindness admittedly) and it confuses Kara, since he and the rest of the Cylons originally set out to kill humanity – she can not understand what may be so vital about her to him.

Because of You – Kelly Clarkson (Album “Breakaway”)

This song so easily sums up the issues Kara has in later life as the result of both her parents, her father for leaving, which somewhere along the lines leaves her being the one to cut and run to stop herself from being the one hurt. For Kara, whilst she is the one who dances with danger in the cockpit, she is the one to play it safe with her emotions, which is why she freaks out so much with Sam. It is also the reason why she is so reticent to really give in to her desires with Lee. Somewhere deep down she realises that if she gets into anything with him, she won't come out unscathed – and that terrifies her.

“Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid”

Hot 'n' Cold – Katy Perry

“And you over think
Always speak

If there were ever lines of a song that spoke of a character those would be it. If I am eluding you, they speak, to me, of Lee. He is Mr. Overthinker – even Kara has had words with him on that. And perennially it is brought up in fan fiction.

“ 'cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up”

And if there were ever lines about the affair they head those would be it. And it could be said of either of them. Lee didn't want to continue without a divorce, Kara didn't want to divorce Sammy. The whole thing was one big mess.

Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon

Well the title says it all, this isn't so much about the lyrics though with lines like these;

“Hot as a fever, rattling bones
I could just taste it, taste it
If it's not forever, if it's just tonight
Oh, it's still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest”

You could be mistaken if they weren't talking about the affair itself. So because of the driving beats the sheer rock of the song plus it is talking about an affair of a sorts (one night stand) I felt it could be something that was going through their minds and was worthy of an inclusion.

Adrenaline - Gavin Rossdale (Album “XXX Original Soundtrack”)

First off I love this song. It is one of my “Imma gonna get out of my head” songs. So when I started listening to it recently I stopped my mad young thing dancing when I started listening to the lyrics;

“Sail through an empty night 
It's only you and I who understand
There is no plan

Get closer to the thrill,
Only time will kill.
What's in your eyes
Is so alive”

I stood there for a couple minutes and just listened and saw Lee and Kara where they are best, as pilots, in the air, feeling nothing but adrenaline.

Fan Mix Listing and Link

Natalie Imbrugllia “Smoke”
Pink “Family Portrait”
Kelly Clarkson “Where is Your Heart”
Bjork “Play Dead”
Kelly Clarkson “Because of You”
Katy Perry “Hot 'n' Cold”
Kings of Leon “Sex on Fire”
Gavin Rossdale “Adrenaline”
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