angelicalangie: (Default)
Well if you aren't it's because you are accessing it through your friends page. If you are its because I needed a change that was reflecting my new state mentally, alongside which the name reflects the attitude to life I have.

I suppose I have to explain the whole thing. Last year I began a journey into the light from a place that was ostensibly dark, full of constant self doubt and on occassion depression. Whilst I am never going to be depression free, I have developed coping strategies which have enabled to effectively deal with the issues it brings.

In other places of my life I really have got to the point of being relaxed about my love life, the fact that I haven't done a damn thing to about my love life has been the indicator that really I am not so fussed on it as I thought I was (perhaps a reflection of my subconscious' desire to focus predominantly on myself.) To this end I have realised that getting out there in reality is really what my life should be about. Thusly I have been doing so of late. An active me is what I need.

So the current state of me is busy and very happy. I never thought last year that this was the place I would end up, sure there are goign to be days I just can't stand what I am doing, generally arguments with my father leave me there, but there are active solutions. Solutions is the definate by word to my life, if something happens think your way out. I believe this is what life is about. I believe that my journey to being fully grown up is never ending, will not be completed even on death, thereby I am no longer aiming to stress on that. I also recognise that life is not one single journey, but a series of excursions. Therefore, I am looking to enjoy and learn during these journeys. I am also discovering that Learning is another process that aids the growing and that these processes are dependant on one another.

Other than that, this is really a year that there are going to be firsts, as my last entry indicated I have already had my first fan event, in November I will be having my first convention, in July I will have completed my first degree. Therefore the excitement that suffuses me is why the name change has occured. For those reading it, it is actually the sub heading of my last title, which is now a more accurate summation of my life than the prior title, Dawn Breaking, which was an accurate summation of the direction my life was heading, now I have many horizons available to me and thus the sub heading is realised.

It is all a reflection of me. (Sounds vaguely egotistical!!)
angelicalangie: (Default)
Having that hmm where is my life fgoing moment.

After a depressing day of not knowing where a specific part of my life is going, I have decided to look at the other part of my life and see where that part will work out.

forms for uni handed in and filled.
begining on uni project though yah the Ethics forms aren't in or marked
Got Steph's wedding present. I admit this was something I had forgotten how beautifully crafted it was. I had seen similar, but cheesy stuff in the same vain but they were ... cheesy.
Got my front room looing presentable, must get rest of house sorted including bathroom which whilst hygenic, i keep picking fault. The bloody grouting I mean for fucks sake you know, 3 seconds and its back to shit.

I am looking forward to hanging out with Mark Monday. I have a great time with him. I am more at ease with him than any man I have ever met. pity he turned me down 8 or so months ago. Thing is long distance isn't that bad to me. I love the travel the nerves the settling back into a regulary scheduled programming of a relationship. I guess he didn't get that til he saw me trying to date a guy 270 miles from me.

I'll still fantasise.

The thing that flits through my mind is; I don't know the future - nope for all my prescience, my own future not preseen. I feel that way with men in particular. There are times and times you know. I have the feeling i am gonna have one of those lives that when I am really old I will look back and say hot damn mama, I lived some!

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angelicalangie

April 2011

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