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Sep. 3rd, 2006
Having a depression day (SAD?)
Sep. 3rd, 2006 09:16 pmThis really started yesterday when Someone prompted me in a thought about my private life. My big issue is I have no one, and considering my last boyfriend dumped me and didn't bother to tell me I am distinctly depressed about it all.
Not to mention I must have passed three pregnant women today and you know what clucky and not in a relationship, is as bad as clucky and in one where the other doesn't want a child. And my big issue these days is I am 25, in biological terms I am getting on a bit, chronologically yes youthful lots of time, but chances of having children start a slow decline til I get to 30 where they nose dive. Thing is how, if I can't get someone in my life, loving me etc. how in the world am I ever going to have children? And why do I chalk up not having children with my failure to be a woman in my mind. I just feel like nothing is going to happen, I won't be having fairytale weddings and lfe long companionship outside of my cats, and sure tey are nice but I want more damn it!
I feel depressed and alone and oh look weather is shit and dark? Could this be a correlatory event? Or is it me looking for an excuse?Because I feel like that is all I do, excuse myself.
Not to mention I must have passed three pregnant women today and you know what clucky and not in a relationship, is as bad as clucky and in one where the other doesn't want a child. And my big issue these days is I am 25, in biological terms I am getting on a bit, chronologically yes youthful lots of time, but chances of having children start a slow decline til I get to 30 where they nose dive. Thing is how, if I can't get someone in my life, loving me etc. how in the world am I ever going to have children? And why do I chalk up not having children with my failure to be a woman in my mind. I just feel like nothing is going to happen, I won't be having fairytale weddings and lfe long companionship outside of my cats, and sure tey are nice but I want more damn it!
I feel depressed and alone and oh look weather is shit and dark? Could this be a correlatory event? Or is it me looking for an excuse?Because I feel like that is all I do, excuse myself.